Since We're All Debating Love...

A response to the "He Gets Us" Superbowl ad that has Christian communities in knots and defining agape love.

Remember my post from last week talking about “love dividing us”? Just a few hours after I hit send, love completely divided Christians on the internet after seeing two He Gets Us commercials... I wish I could say I’m shocked.

As promised, we’re looking a little deeper into the Greek words for love this week and next week. I had no intention of commenting on He Gets Us here, but as I started to unravel the beautiful threads of agapē from the New Testament and all that it says about God, how He loves us (or… gets us), and how we are called to love others, I can’t help but share some thoughts.

If you missed the commercials, you can watch the main 60-second one here. The main premise: Jesus sacrificially washed the feet of His disciples, even Judas who later betrayed Him. Jesus promotes love, not hate.

A few different arguments are floating around about this commercial, but for the sake of this post, we’re going to focus on the main concern that this ad distorts the reality of God’s love and offers a false gospel that says you don’t need to change to be loved by God.¹

Newsflash: You don’t need to change to be loved by God.

You do need to allow God’s love to transform you if you believe in God and want to spend eternity with the Father, but that’s not what this ad was aiming to convey. Marketing is like a funnel, and He Gets Us is dropping this ad right at the very top, the widest part of the funnel: reach the most people (millions watching the Superbowl) with the most intriguing message that will drive them to take action.

Before I get carried away with all the intricacies of this ad and how people are responding (maybe I’ll expand in my blog later this week), let’s get to the main point: what is love?

The word “love” in English is found in the New Testament from 7 Greek words. The two major words are G26 (agapē) and G5368 (phileō). The others are variations of those same original words (verb instead of noun, etc).

The Word: Love

Strong’s G26 | agapē (ag-ah'-pay)

This Greek word is used 117 times, translated as love (86 times), charity (28 times), dear, and feasts of charity. A variation of this word is Strong’s G25 | agapaō (ag-ap-ah'-o).

• affection, benevolence, charity, love

• the highest form of love, goodwill

• “serving with humility” ²

Agapē reveals God’s self-sacrificial love toward humanity.

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.
[John 15:13 ESV]

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish, but have eternal life.
[John 3:16 NASB2020]

Agapē reveals the way we can and are called to love God.

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
[Matthew 22:37 KJV]

Agapē reveals how we are to love other humans (all of them).

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
[John 13:34 NIV]

The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.
[Matthew 22:39 CSB]

Grappling with what this word and idea of love means for us, our relationship with God, and our relationship with the world around us means understanding the difference between agapē and phileō. Where phileō is more reactive (we’ll get to this next week), agapē is a choice and consistent love due to divine will not just human excellence or feelings. God doesn’t agapē us because of what we do or the boxes we check.

God agapēs humanity because of who we are and who He is—the covenantal promise of that cheçed (steadfast lovingkindness) that stands true despite our shortcomings.

Agapē is more about “seeing in the object upon whom it is bestowed that which is worthy of regard.”³ God loves us intrinsically because God knows we have value and are worthy of regard no matter how we deem ourselves unworthy (not because of us alone but because of imago dei—we are made in the image of God).

Likewise, we are called to treat others with that same agapē—not because of how we feel about them or because we like what they’re doing but because they are made in the image of God and are intrinsically worthy of love.

A further definition of agapē links it to cheçed:

Agape, as an ethical concern, reflects its Hebrew cognate, hesed, in that it represents the self-denying value of lovingkindness, as reflected in God’s love for creation. Agape is sometimes distinguished from the related Greek terms eros and phileō, which are also often translated into English as “love,” but do not carry the idea of self-giving entailed in agapē. Many Christians have articulated what is often termed an agapeic ethic, that is, an approach to the ethical life that elevates love as the chief consideration.⁴

So What About He Gets Us?

I hope after reading these definitions and verses you’re feeling as convicted as I am. I’ll admit—when I first saw the commercial about people washing other people’s feet, I thought it was intriguing but lacked the full depth of the gospel. It turns out, a lot of people felt that way.⁵

When I read about this deep kind of charitable benevolence that God loves us with and in turn asks us to love others with, I’m reminded that I did nothing to deserve God’s love and it would still be true that God loves me unconditionally if I never believed or walked away. Jesus washed Judas’ feet.

The symbolism of the feet washing is lowering yourself to the lowest you can go to cleanse and care for another. Jesus modeled this for us, and that’s all He Gets Us was trying to convey—this is the agapē that disciples of Christ should be showing to others, especially with those whom they disagree.

As an aside, I think if their goal was to show millions of skeptical, God-hating, or resistant non-believers that God is more about love than they think, they hit the nail on the head. However, we should be concerned with what comes next. This type of marketing campaign is not a bad idea (though we need not forget the cost of this ad and where else that type of money could have gone instead), but it can’t stop there.

God indeed loves everyone no matter what they believe, how they vote, what they wear, or who they choose to date. But agapē, when truly received, is the most motivational force that drives us to transformation to enter into the abundant life of freedom that Jesus freely offers.

Many will say they believe in God and the gospel that Jesus came, died and rose again to portray, but they won’t ever cross that line in their life to live as such. That doesn’t mean they are less made in the image of God or less deserving of agapē.

It’s a complicated thing: grace.

What’s not complicated is extending a hand to someone who looks different than you, saying a prayer for someone who lives less restrictive than you, and washing the feet of someone who votes opposite you.

That’s charity. That’s love. That’s benevolence. That’s agapē.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)

Speaking of agapē…

My husband and I are celebrating 7 years of staying true to our vows of charity and love today! I’m grateful for all the ways God has showed up in our lives to help us love Him and each other deeper through the truth of agapē. ♥️ Thanks for celebrating with us by being the best Substackers out there and supporting my work!

P.S. Here’s how He Gets Us talks about agapē.

1. You can read the caption and see some of the comments on this post here for reference.

2. https://www.preceptaustin.org/love-agape

3. Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance

4. Stanley J. Grenz and Jay T. Smith, Pocket Dictionary of Ethics, The IVP Pocket Reference Series (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2003), 8.

5. You can check out the Babylon Bee’s mock post of the ad or this “there I fixed it for you” response video for what some people thought it should have been.